Do I See My Future?

I know I have said it before but... depression and anxiety really suck. I could use a fancier word to describe it but "suck" encompasses the mental, emotional, and physical toll I experience. I write this not for others to read or understand but as a means of articulating my thoughts and trying to get …

Hey You

Depression sucks! I hate feeling this way. It doesn't help that I'm unable to walk without pain. Sure, I'd like to lose weight, build strength in my legs, and increase my stamina and endurance. But it also feels pointless. I feel as though nothing is going to change. My depression is still all-consuming. The goal …

The Next Step in Transition

I've taken a big step in my transition journey. I started taking testosterone (aka 'T'). The three ways of taking T include injections, patches, or a gel. Injections are usually taken every one or two weeks depending on the dosage and other factors. Patches and the gel are generally taken on a daily basis. The …

Create the Life You Love

Over the years I've listened to and read lots of material from people like Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, Darren Hardy, and Norman Vincent Peale. I can remember searching for recordings at the library by Tony Robbins. It was around 2001 or 2002 when I listened to one of his "Power Talk" tapes for the first …

The Labels We Wear

As I've gotten older I've started to think about the labels I've had or given myself. As much as I'd like to think I'm uniquely me I recognize that I have often found comfort in adopting a label. What do I mean by label? Well, just about anything. There's the label of tomboy when I …

What’s In a Name?

To quote Mr. Shakespeare, "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." So what's in a name? As I have been coming to terms with my gender identity and what it means to be me, my name has been on my mind. I've been Michelle all my life. As I transition to living …

The Kids Are Alright

Faith has always played an important role in my life. I grew up going to church. Initially I was always going with my grandma. I remember asking her all kinds of questions on the car ride to church. It amazed me that Jesus could see me through walls. Especially the really big thick concrete walls …

Identity Crisis – Part 2

In 2014 I relocated to Cincinnati for a new job at a university. I loved my new job. It had the variety I needed and the opportunity to help students while solving problems. Those are definitely some of my strengths. I really missed living in Columbus but loved my job. I didn't find a new …

Identity Crisis – Part 1

As I've mentioned before, I've always felt different. As a kid I felt like a boy. As a teen and young adult I was just trying to fit in with the gender binary world we live in. That meant doing what I needed to do to fit in as a girl and woman. I will …

I’m a Big Boy!

I was born in Cincinnati, Ohio but my early years of childhood were spent living on a farm in southern Ohio. My parents were young. In fact my mom had me at the young age of 17. My dad was six years her senior and had returned from the war in Vietnam when they started …